can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em.

After 17 years and 9 months of experience and some studying of the Bible, I've come to conclude that family relationships were designed by God to be the most significant interpersonal relationships. I read over the sentence that I just typed and I can't believe I'm saying it. Coming from someone who was never close with her family and never really enjoyed time spent with family, it seems almost absurd.

I'm not really sure why my family was never as close-knit as others. My parents have never been my best friends; I've never gone to them with my darkest secrets or deepest problems. I've rarely shown my appreciation for what they have done, or for their mere existence for that matter. My brother and I spent the majority of my seventeen years as barely something more than people who see each other while they're eating breakfast. The thing is, my mom was so passionate about our family. She always planned things for us to do, brought up things to talk about at the dinner table, wrote little notes of encouragement to each of us. My dad attempted to conduct family devotions several times, but my brother and I just cast it aside with the attitude that we could better spend our time doing something else. I can sit here today and tell you that the reason for our distance was the spiritual immaturity of me and my brother. When we each reached the point in our lives when we realized there was "more to life" than family, we were eager to leave. Other relationships with friends (and for my brother, girlfriends) became the priority. Why? Because were were spiritually immature.

I used to hold to the belief that it was perfectly fine for a child (usually a teenager) to pull away from their family and treat their friends as the most important people. Why did I do that? Because I did pulled away, and I replaced my family with friends. I carried that view with me as justification for what I was doing. It wasn't until God took my mother from my life in the April of 2009 that I realized how twisted I was.

If you read the Bible at all, you'll probably notice that there are two main relationships to which God compares himself to us: father-child and groom-bride. I don't think it's chance that those two relationships exist within the family. The father-son relationship exists within the perfect relationship, that is the Trinity. Why was it so heartbreaking for God to sacrifice his Son? Because the cords that bind families together are the most painful to untie. I believe that God created us to be effected most deeply by what goes on in our families because He wanted us to see the gospel so clearly. Unfortunately, sin has tainted those relationships here on earth, and families are not how they were intended to be. But the fact remains: whether good or bad, present or nonexsitant, family relationships have the most impact in the life of an individual. Why do orphanages exist? Why aren't there homes for people whose friends have died or left them? Why don't ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends all have a place to live when their hearts have been broken? Because the family is the most important relational institution. It's been created that way, and we don't even notice it because it's just the natural way of life. Think about it. If a child is being mistreated by a parent, they are removed from the situation. When a child is betrayed by a friend, nothing happens. It's ingrained in who we are: our families, or lack therof, shape us.

I was very surprised to experience what it was like to lose my mom, since I had never been extremely close with her. It's true. When family relationships change, so do you. Thankfully, God used my mom's death to reveal the importance of family. About a year and a half prior, he had already begun to work on me when my brother recommited his life to Christ. When we found out we were moving in 2006, God used that huge transition to bring Matthew back to Himself. That, in turn, brought him back to our family, and he became my brother again. Your family is more a part of who you are than you may realize. I believe it is God's desire that earthly families seek to emulate the heavenly family relationship. What does that mean? It means we're supposed to sacrifice for others, love them unconditionally, discipline them in love, serve them, encourage them, teach them obedience, etc. As a Christian, I don't think that you can toss aside the importance of family and still consider yourself to be honoring the Lord. It took me 16 years and 8 months to learn that. I hope you don't wait that long.

there are two options.

In regards to dating, my 8th grade teacher once said, "If you think about it, there are only two options; either you'll get married or you'll break up." Ever since that one simple statement sunk into my brain, I've been chewing long and hard on it.

Why do we date? What is our motive? Objective? Our culture tells us that dating should be all about you; you need to see what's out there, test things out, explore a little bit. Dating is mean for fooling around, having fun, and maybe getting into some trouble; save the serious stuff for marriage. Even so, today's view of marriage is tainted in terms of committment, but I'd say that marriage is viewed as a much more serious matter than dating. My teacher also mused that it's interesting that Christians' take on dating is often such that it revolves around them, when they say that marriage is about sacrificial love for the other person. After all, isn't dating supposed to prepare us for marriage?

Too often, we think that we can easily redirect that course our minds are on. We say to ourselves, "Yeah, I know that I'm not too serious about being a committed boyfriend/girlfriend right now, but when I meet The One, I'll never be unfaithful." What makes us say that? If we are the ones who are being disloyal, then what would change when a husband or wife comes along? We would be the problem, not the person we're in a relationship with. We think that there's a point in our lives when we need to start handling relationships with maturity, but before that point we're free to do whatever we want. Why do we think this way? I believe it's because we just don't trust that God really does hold our lives in his hands.

Think about how different marriages would look if we really believed that truth. So many couples struggle as husband and wife because of baggage they still have from previous dating relationships. Look at what Paul writes in Ephesians 5: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." I understand that this passage is talking about marriage, but what if couples who are dating took this to heart? Every girlfriend that you have will one day be someone's wife; every boyfriend that you have will one day be someone's husband. Should we then not help prepare them for their future roles for the sake of the gospel? I'm not saying that every dating relationship should look like a marriage, but I believe that it should possess many of the same godly characteristics.

Girls, if you decide to start dating at any point, please realize that you play a very important part in your boyfriend's development into a godly or ungodly husband. Encourage him in the gospel. Do not act as a stumbling block in his walk with God. You should seek to keep yourself pure and blameless for your future husband, and more importantly, your heavenly Father. Guys, if you decide to start dating at any point, pleaes realize that you play a very important part in your girlfriend's development into a godly or ungodly wife. Encourage her in the gospel. Do not act as a stumbling block in her walk with God by pressuring her to do things that she knows are not right. You are the leader in the relationship--atleast, you should be. Take responsibility. Do your part to keep her pure for her future husband, and in doing so, you will be remaining pure for your future wife. Both parties should be working together to keep themselves pure before their Almighty God.

Remember, there are only two options: either you'll get married or you'll break up. Be wise in your decisions about who you date. Don't wait till you start dating to get to know the person. Get to know the person first. I can't even count how many relationships I've seen fall apart because the people didn't know what they were getting into. They based their decision to date on pure emotion and physical attraction, only to find that the other person's character was not what they had first thought it was. Take note of how a guy/girl interacts with their friends and even others with whom they are not so close. So many times, my friends have ended up in relationships with two-faced people. It is not a bad thing to talk to trusted, godly friends about the person you would like to date. I understand that you will not marry every person you decide to date, but if you go into a relationship knowing that the guy/girl has no qualities that are appealing to you in the long run, then I don't see the point in jumping into anything with that person.

Overall, I'd say to guard your heart from making your boyfriend/girlfriend your idol. We forget that God still demands our devotion while we are devoting ourselves to our significant others. We cannot fall into the trap of thinking God knows best about everything except our love lives. He created us and formed us, and he himself was the One who placed that desire for another person inside of us. So then, does not the Creator know the creation best of all? Allow the Giver of your desires to give you what you desire, for he knows the longings of your heart.

the great fall.

Upon searching the online dictionary for a definition for "nation", the first result was as follows: "A large body of people, associated with a particular territory, that is sufficiently conscious of its unity to seek or to possess a government peculiarly its own." Would you allow me the liberty of changing that definition? Because if it was up to me, I would say that a nation is a large body of people, associated with a particular territory, that is sufficiently conscious of its unity to seek or possess a security peculiarly its own. Every country wants to be safe physically, financially, materialistically. When any of those things are jepoardized in the least, the citizens begin to panic. The world needs the gospel of Jesus Christ. Now, I'm no politician; I don't have a strategic plan that will solve all of the international issues that are going on. But I know that the world needs Jesus.

In the movie Hotel Rwanda, which portrays some of the horror of the genocide in Rwanda, the following dialogue occurs:
"I am glad that you have shot this footage and that the world will see it. It is the only way we have a chance that people might intervene."
"Yeah and if no one intervenes, is it still a good thing to show?"
"How can they not intervene when they witness such atrocities?"
"I think if people see this footage they'll say, 'Oh my God that's horrible,' and then go on eating their dinners."

Sadly, that UN cameraman hit the nail on the head. I can't even count how many times that exact thing has happened in my own house, and I'm ashamed to say that. We've grown so numb to what is taking place right now, this very minute, in the other countries of our world. We've almost brainwashed ourselves to believe that our personal, familial, national security is the only priority. And heaven forbid that it be tampered with! Listen, I'm not here to say that every country should just cease its proctection. I'm trying to make the point that when we are so consumed with ourselves and our own fears, we watch people die, starve, kill, get killed, suffer, and the list goes on. What would happen in a world in which people's security lay in something that was not of this world? What if people placed their lives in the hands of Jesus Christ? What if people did not fear those who can harm the body, but the One who can harm the soul? I believe that, if people allowed the gospel to shape their lives, they would realize that we were not created for this world. As C.S. Lewis once wrote, we are souls and we have bodies. We are eternal creatures that live in a temporal world. What if we began to risk our own security to ensure the security of others? And what does that look like? I'm not exactly sure, but I'm fairly certain it requires more that money. As Christians, people know what we're against. But do they know what we stand for? And if they do know, is it because they've heard us talk about it, or becaues they've seen us do something about it? I think that, oftentimes, we spend so much time talking and even sending money, that we forget that we have been called into action to help those in need. I understand that not everyone is physically capable of going to a scene of injustice, but I definitely think that there should be more Christians on the front lines of what's going on in our world.

Our world needs Jesus. The nations need to place their security in the promises of the gospel. More Christians need to be risking their own security for that of others who are suffering. I know that "Jesus" is the sterotypical Sunday school answer, but I can't see this world being fixed without that solution.

what everyone wants for their kids.

Back in the days of one-room schoolhouses and ruler-slapping teachers, everyone was taught the same material. There seemed to be one curriculum that was universally followed with no boycotts, protests, resignations, and the like. Those were also the days in which almost every family attended the local church on Sundays. Should we then conclude that a way of education is in correlation with the spiritual state of the people? Maybe yes, but perhaps no. There are some who still believe that there should be a pool of what should be taught, and anything outside of that pool is ridiculously absurd. I believe that this is ignorance and pride. Now, there may be someone reading this who just got a huge smile on his or her face, thinking, "Finally, someone who has seen the light! I can't take those Christians and their creationism! They think it's science, but it's just a bunch of crap." Just hold it right there. Let's take this whole creation/intelligent design vs. evolution issue for example. Both sides of this argument have been guilty of exclusion and ignorance. Those who support intelligent design often do not want evolution to be taught at all; those who support evolution often say that the opposing view should be forbidden from the classroom. Both sides claim that the other perspective is not even science, and that is enough of a reason to erase it from the curriculum. But is it really a matter of what is science, or is it a matter of selfishness and pride? Personally, I believe in creation, but I am not at all against receiving an education that also teaches me about evolution. Last time I checked, education was intended to help shape the minds of individuals, enabling them to think critically based on knowlegde that they have obtained, and, most importantly, to think for themselves. It is not uncommon for teachers to present their students with articles holding several different opinions about a subject; in fact, some assignments require atleast one source that contradicts the student's viewpoint.

I'm not saying that any new idea that pops up should immediately be taught in the classroom; however, I am saying that, in order for people's minds to grow and develop in the search for truth, there must be a search. God has created our minds so intricately and intentionally to operate well while discovering, looking, and testing. Although I say this, I do think that institutions should be able to say what they stand for as a disclaimer. For instance, I think a public school should present both sides of the intelligent design vs. evoluation debate and still tell students that they hold to a belief in the theory of evolution. On the other side of the spectrum, I also think that students could be taught about evolution in a Christian school with the knowledge that their school and religion believes in creation.

I think one of the problems today is that people just don't know enough about the things which disagree with their beliefs. We get into our little bubbles of similar opinions, and we view anything outside the bubble as garbage. Granted, some things may be false and ridiculous, but we need to know the things we're dealing with. We also need to realize that the objective of education should not be to win people to a particular side, but to properly inform people so that they can make a wise decision. When I say this, I don't mean that parents should just send their children off to school and hope they make a right choice based on the information they take in. I believe that parents play a huge role in the education of their children; they need to teach them what truth is and how to discern it. That way, students will have a better foundation for receiving what they are taught in the classroom.

Education is supposed to make people aware of the world around them: political and social issues, religions, differing opinions in science, contradicting historical accounts, multiple interpretations of the same poem. We cannot be as informed as we should be if we are adament about only listening to one curriculum. As Christians, I believe that we must hold fast to Scripture, as that is where truth is found. Our Biblical mindset, however, should not give us reason to be ignorant; rather, it should stir us to learn even more about the world, in hopes that we might better shine the light of Christ in those areas which are dark.

what makes the world go round.

One day, while talking about money with a friend, it occured to me how absurd our obsession with our paper and metal curreny has become. Back in the day, money did not even exist; people bartered. They traded goods and services for other goods and services. Then, one random day, someone comes up with this grand idea of money, and all of a sudden, strips of paper and cirlces of metal become one some of the chief objects of man's desires. If you think about it that way, our want for money seems completely ridiculous. Many of us spend almost twenty years of our lives learning and studying and researching, just so we can get a job that gives us money. Think about how much of what we do revolves around that one thing that did not even exist a few thousand years ago! Not only do we desire it so much, but our longing is not for something that is concrete. Currency values are constantly fluctuating. Stock markets can crash overnight. Former employees can be unemployed in a matter of minutes. A totaled car can wipe out a family's bank account in a matter of seconds. It is no wonder that people make so much profit from writing books on how to deal with depression during a financial crisis!

Now, I do not want you to think that I am telling everyone to go burn all of their money, go live in the forest, and eat racoons and boisenberries. Money is important, but it is not something to be idolized, and it is not something in which our security should be placed. Money is something that God gives us, entrusting us with his blessings. The Bible is constantly referencing the dangers of wealth and the punishment that will be given to those who stake their lives on it. When we taint the gifts of God and neglect our responsibility to be good stewards of what we have been given, we experience the consequences of our sinful nature. Money is to be used wisely, yet cheerfully. I do believe that we should spend money on things that we want and not just that which we need. But we need to keep in mind that God is not pleased with selfish gain. All that we have is from the Lord, and we need to think of our finances with that mindset.

My parents never eluded to the amount of their income, and I am grateful for that. When a child knows how much money their parents have, it opens the door for the unhealthy thought that they can have whatever they want. I think it is important for parents to teach their children wise money handling methods, and perhaps even to tell their kids how much they make when they are older. Whatever the case, parents should always teach their families that immense value should not be placed on such an unstable thing.