there are two options.

In regards to dating, my 8th grade teacher once said, "If you think about it, there are only two options; either you'll get married or you'll break up." Ever since that one simple statement sunk into my brain, I've been chewing long and hard on it.

Why do we date? What is our motive? Objective? Our culture tells us that dating should be all about you; you need to see what's out there, test things out, explore a little bit. Dating is mean for fooling around, having fun, and maybe getting into some trouble; save the serious stuff for marriage. Even so, today's view of marriage is tainted in terms of committment, but I'd say that marriage is viewed as a much more serious matter than dating. My teacher also mused that it's interesting that Christians' take on dating is often such that it revolves around them, when they say that marriage is about sacrificial love for the other person. After all, isn't dating supposed to prepare us for marriage?

Too often, we think that we can easily redirect that course our minds are on. We say to ourselves, "Yeah, I know that I'm not too serious about being a committed boyfriend/girlfriend right now, but when I meet The One, I'll never be unfaithful." What makes us say that? If we are the ones who are being disloyal, then what would change when a husband or wife comes along? We would be the problem, not the person we're in a relationship with. We think that there's a point in our lives when we need to start handling relationships with maturity, but before that point we're free to do whatever we want. Why do we think this way? I believe it's because we just don't trust that God really does hold our lives in his hands.

Think about how different marriages would look if we really believed that truth. So many couples struggle as husband and wife because of baggage they still have from previous dating relationships. Look at what Paul writes in Ephesians 5: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." I understand that this passage is talking about marriage, but what if couples who are dating took this to heart? Every girlfriend that you have will one day be someone's wife; every boyfriend that you have will one day be someone's husband. Should we then not help prepare them for their future roles for the sake of the gospel? I'm not saying that every dating relationship should look like a marriage, but I believe that it should possess many of the same godly characteristics.

Girls, if you decide to start dating at any point, please realize that you play a very important part in your boyfriend's development into a godly or ungodly husband. Encourage him in the gospel. Do not act as a stumbling block in his walk with God. You should seek to keep yourself pure and blameless for your future husband, and more importantly, your heavenly Father. Guys, if you decide to start dating at any point, pleaes realize that you play a very important part in your girlfriend's development into a godly or ungodly wife. Encourage her in the gospel. Do not act as a stumbling block in her walk with God by pressuring her to do things that she knows are not right. You are the leader in the relationship--atleast, you should be. Take responsibility. Do your part to keep her pure for her future husband, and in doing so, you will be remaining pure for your future wife. Both parties should be working together to keep themselves pure before their Almighty God.

Remember, there are only two options: either you'll get married or you'll break up. Be wise in your decisions about who you date. Don't wait till you start dating to get to know the person. Get to know the person first. I can't even count how many relationships I've seen fall apart because the people didn't know what they were getting into. They based their decision to date on pure emotion and physical attraction, only to find that the other person's character was not what they had first thought it was. Take note of how a guy/girl interacts with their friends and even others with whom they are not so close. So many times, my friends have ended up in relationships with two-faced people. It is not a bad thing to talk to trusted, godly friends about the person you would like to date. I understand that you will not marry every person you decide to date, but if you go into a relationship knowing that the guy/girl has no qualities that are appealing to you in the long run, then I don't see the point in jumping into anything with that person.

Overall, I'd say to guard your heart from making your boyfriend/girlfriend your idol. We forget that God still demands our devotion while we are devoting ourselves to our significant others. We cannot fall into the trap of thinking God knows best about everything except our love lives. He created us and formed us, and he himself was the One who placed that desire for another person inside of us. So then, does not the Creator know the creation best of all? Allow the Giver of your desires to give you what you desire, for he knows the longings of your heart.